Wednesday 19 December 2007

Soon christmas time

As usual it's been a long time since my last post, and as usual I intend to improve! The last couple of weeks have been extremelly bissy, but now its soon Christmas break! So the next couple of days are hopefully gonna be fun. Tomorrow it's the last leader meeting this term, and on thursday we end school! At the moment I don't have plans for thursday, oh sorry just saw that channel 5 are showing Magnus Betnérs stand up show "Ingenting är heligt"! He is one of my absolut favorite people, what a coinsidence!

On friday I have a driving lesson before working. Then after work I'm going to TGI Friday's for my 6th grade class reunion! Should be interesting, I haven't meet most of them for ages! 6th grade reunion, haha it makes me sound anchient! Well I#m working saturday too and then on sunday Anna is coming from NY!!!

She's been studying in the big apple at Columbia since September so as you may guess I can't wait too se her! I've missed her loads and it'll be great to have her here over Christmas and New Years!

I'll be getting back shortly to fill you in further on what I've been up to since my last depressing post.
Love Hannah

Sunday 23 September 2007

Hur ska jag överleva?

Idag så bröt min värld ihop.
Det är inte första gången, förr så hände detta typ var tredje fjärde månad men nu var det ett tag sen och jag hade väl hoppats att jag hade växt ifrån det här med att inte klara av sitt egna liv.

Men nu så var det dags igen, och så här illa har det inte vart på flera år. Huvudvärk, trötthet, depression och den ekande ensamheten känner jag igen men nu så har jag även ont i magen och mår illa.

Det var inte tills idag jag kopplade ihop att jag inte kunnat äta utan att må illa på typ 4 dar, med att jag varit så jäkla stressad sista veckorna. På sätt och vis är det skönt att inse detta så att jag kan försöka göra nått åt det men det skrämmer mig även att på nått sätt börja inse hur långt jag låtit det gå.

Det är otroligt obehagligt att inse att man inte klarar av att handskas med sitt egna liv.

Jag får ju jämt höra att jag gör för mycket, tar på mig för mycket, och borde stressa mindre men hur faan ska jag lyckas med det? Jag vet liksom inte hur jag ska göra. Först så vill jag inte ta bort fler roliga saker snart är det bara skol arbete kvar! Sen så vet jag ju själv, även om det är läskigt att erkänna att problemet ligger mycket djupare än så.

Mitt första mål är att överleva imorgon.
Sen så ska jag försöka strukturera lite och delegera så mycket jag kan för att klara mig ur det här. Om det nu lyckas så får vi höras om steg 3.

Hur faan lyckas jag?

Monday 20 August 2007

Here are two lovely little films!

PÄRON FILMEN:



AND

FNIPP FILMEN!

I hope you love them!

Sunday 19 August 2007

Beautiful, beautiful world!




















Love hurts!

Sometimes I miss people so much it hurts! I know that this not an uncommon phenomena but it's odd. How come our being responds to emotional loss with physical symptoms? Why does my tummy hurt when my mind is sad? Is it a "I scratch your back you scratch mine" situation does my tummy owe my mind for it been sad when my tummy hurt? Is there a medical reason to why we need to feel this pain? Or is the pain also psychological?

Anyway I wish I could see this friend asap! Hopefully already on Monday when we start school!
I'm actually looking forward to starting school, I'll probably regret even thinking so in a couple of days but I am! Working with the Student Council board is gonna be great and I'm starting loads of interesting new classes!


I'll write more soon love Hannah

Thursday 12 July 2007

Work, a late first.

Some how I until this summer, if you don't count the 3 depressing Saturdays I distributed newspapers before giving up and a few evenings babysitting, managed to never have a job. But this summer I decided it was time to get my act together and get a job. So for the past 3 weeks I've been working at an addiction center. It may be seen as an odd place for a high school student to work, and may be it is. Anyhow it's been a very interesting and enjoyable experience.

For those of you that are not aware of what an addiction center is. It's a place where heroin addicts who belong to the methadone program come to receive a medicine called Methadone (which is used as a replacement for heroin) that they drink out of small plastic bottles. And alcoholics come to receive medicine such as Antabus (it makes you sick if you drink alcohol after taking it). A condition for this treatment is (of course) that they don't drink or do drugs. To prove this they must leave supervised urine samples and/or alcohol tests. The longer you are clean the less frequent the tests become. They also receive counseling and certain other medical care.

Although I did not administer any tests or distribute medication, part of my job was to sit and chat with the patients as they wait for their turn. Most of these individuals have lived extremely harsh lives on the very outskirts of society and for some of them this daily or weekly chat is vital social training on there way back into society.

Speaking to these people and reading about them in their files is so extremely interesting. Their lives have been so harsh and extreme that it is almost ungraspable.

But tomorrow is my last day so I think I might just bring muffins!

Thursday 24 May 2007

Oslo #3

I've found some pics, so here goes:


This is me, Anna, Serra, Dipali, Alex and Jonathan on Aker brygga (Christian is taking the pic)


This is me tired in the sun on the grass in front of the castle watching the parade.


This is me posing on Aker brygga


HUNGRY SWEDES STEAL FOOD!!!


A fine example of a good old fashioned lompeslap! (This was our new won friend Magnus!)


A neat sign we found on a tattoo parlour.

Oslo #2

People always say that you get to know people on a different level when you travel and live with them. Our trip to Norway tough us that this was very true, in more ways than we could imagine!


Here's some of the stuff we learnt:
      • Lompeslap
      • Hannah is always on top
      • We like rocks
      • Christian loves trains (and Jonathan)
      • Sharing all is mostly good
      • Don't talk about the sheets (some of us haven't quite learnt this one)
      • Apple pie is best served in a thermos
      • TIDEN GÅR
      • "Sugar Rush" is the wrong rush
      • Anyplace can feel like home if you've had enough to drink
      • Två säten räcker långt
      • Braces are dangerous

We also have some quotes:
        • "There's a time for fuck fuck, but now is not the time"
        • "De händer bara i 25% av fallen!"
        • "In this case that's a good thing"

Thursday 17 May 2007

17 may in Oslo!

This weekend I'm in Oslo with my friends Anna and Christian to celebrate the Norwegian national day.

On yesterday at 14:30 we got on a train from the Stockholm central station to Oslo and at 21:00 we arrived. The Norwegian railway is so crap they can't go faster than 80 km/hour after the border! When we got to Oslo we meet Christians boyfriend at the buss station, he came on a buss from Gothenburg. Then we dragged our very heavy bags (more shoes than days!) to Anna's apartment which is totally lovely and very central! Since central Oslo is pretty small nowhere we've gone to has been very far. Central station to Anna's house is about like walking from Slussen to Skanstull.

Today we went and sat in the VIP area in front of the castle (Anna's mum got tickets of the Swedish ambassador) and watched the parade where all the schools in Oslo and their brass bands participate. They had some very cool "stick twirling" girls. Then we say the Russ parade. Russ is the Norwegian graduating students. They have these cool overalls that they write all over and sew loads of patches on! Then we walked round Oslo and took loads of crazy pics. Now we are getting ready to go out and barbecue.

I'll post some pics when I get home and load them over! See you soon. Love Hannah

Monday 16 April 2007

University Fair

Promised to keep you posted on my uni application etc.

Today a delegation from 10 uk universities came to visit our school as part of a 10 cities in 10 days tour they where doing. First they introduced them selves and had a 1h information lecture in our auditorium on :
  • why we should chose to study in the UK
  • costs of studying in the UK
  • life as a student
  • how to apply
Then was the actual fair bit where we could go around to different class rooms and talk to the uni reps. There was reps from:
  • Bristol
  • Bradford
  • Royal Holloway
  • City
  • Plymouth
  • Essex
  • Leicester
  • Reading
  • Edinburgh
  • Southampton
  • Warwick
  • Sheffield
  • Hertfordshire
So now I've spoken to all of them, collected their prospectuses and signed the "please send me info" slips. I'll get back to you on if they where any good as soon as I've read them all. They are all at least 150 pages (no very Eco friendly).

Over and out!

Sunday 15 April 2007

Back in Sweden!

Back home now after quite a few hours traveling! It makes me feel very much part of "the new generation" when I realise i don't mind a bit to fly on my own but taking a train totally stresses me out!
Well its pretty late and I need to wrap some gifts so I better get going. Talk to you soon!

Thursday 5 April 2007

Off to the UK

Tomorrow I'm off to the UK for a great 9 days of fun and family. As well as catching up with all the relations, I'm going to visit my friend Tillan who went to my class last year and is currently studying outside Nottingham. Should be way fun! So today and tomorrow morning I have a few things to do:
  • check how my phone works in the UK
  • make a packing list
  • put out all my stuff
  • go to mum's and collect any stuff that is missing
  • buy something for Tillans family (could be done in UK)
  • go to the bank
  • apply for a summer job through Landstinget
  • check ams.se etc. for summer jobs
  • call Julie
  • call Rizzo
  • sigh up for a camping trip thingy
  • buy a gift for Anna
  • plan outfit for Anna's party
  • remember Anna's necklace
So as you can see I've got quite a bit to do. But it should be fine I have ~5 hours today and tomorrow I don't have to leave till 13:00. Well I'd better get going, there is no time to waste!

Tuesday 3 April 2007

Bad Blogger

Lately I have been an exceptionally bad blogger, but hopefully (as always) that will get better. First for a quick update since last time I wrote the following has happened: I've turned 18! Which is great! On my actual birthday I went out for dinner with my family, and opened lots of cards from the family. My friend celebrated Theo, Olle and I at our joint birthday party on St. Patrick Day. It was great fun we where at my dad's place and Rizzo had baked some very impressive birthday cakes! (some pics may turn up soon)

Apart from that I've been voted onto the student council board as deputy member. Where I'll be co-responsible for information. Which is great its something I've been wanting to do for a long time.

I've also stared to look more seriously at universities, and actually found something I think I want to study. I'll try to keep you posted on what I'm thinking. At the moment I'm going for international management or international business management.

Lots of Love Hannah

Sunday 18 February 2007

Del 1 av 2 avklarad!

Kom just hem från SKUK's (Svenska Kyrkans Unga Katarina) årsmöte (del 1). Det va lyckat vi avklarade alla de punkter vi tänkt och fick igenom vår proposition om att byta styrandeform. Så nu styrs vi av medlemmarna genom medlems möten istället för av en styrelse. Vi bordla som planerat punkterna Revisionsberättelse, Budget och Styrelsens ansvarsfrihet till de extrainsata årsmötet som kommer vara om cirka 5 veckor (och som alltså är del 2 :P ).

Här är de som valdes till uppdrag under mandatperioden 07/08:
Jag valdes till kontaktperson och ekonomiansvarig
Dea valdes till kontaktperson och registeravsvarig
Jag, Dea, Nina och Julia valdes till att representera SKUK på DÅM


Ja nu måste jag sjuk som jag är sova litegran.
Syns snart

Wednesday 7 February 2007

The lists are back

Before bed I just realized it was due time for some lists!

Ten Fun Facts about me:

I'm 18 in 27 days!
I've been in a drama group for 10 years.
I've done football, judo, riding, free diving, Isadora Duncan (a form of free styled ballet), jazz/show dance, street funk, and cheer leading.
I'm 5ft 4in tall and have size 5½ in UK shoe sizes.
I can speak about 15 words of Greek
I'm 1/4 Gotläning
I've made ice cream with liquid hydrogen (i think it was hydrogen can't quite remember)
I grew up watching F1 and know way to much about it.
I have 15 candles in my room
I'm a pieces


Ten favorites right now:

Fave drink: Brämhults apelsin juice
Fave film: The Holiday
Fave song: Paradise City
Fave colour: Red
Fave time: In bed
Fave ice cream: Mövenpicks Maple Walnuts
Fave TV show: House
Fave lesson: Social Studies
Fave top: Deep blue tennis shirt
Fave food: My chocolate cereal


Ten dreams:

Drive a F1 car
Sky dive
Stage dive
Own a Ford GT 40
Win a lifetime supply of B&J ice cream
Be knighted by the Queen
Own 3 homes
Be royal
Learn to go to bed on time
Become a billionaire

Back soon in an Internet window near you!

Tuesday 6 February 2007

An new view

Today has in some aspects been a hard, emotional yet interesting day.

I've been feeling a bit blue the last couple of days, just one of those periods. I've had worse and I know it will pass but I can also see that the worst is still to come which is a pain but all the same it'll pass. However this morning I snapped at Rizzo. And you may be wondering (omg i sound like Nedim) why I'm making a big deal out of this. And the truth is it really isn't, i didn't raise my voice , i didn't make a scene and we didn't stop talking.
The big deal is that I've put up this long and I didn't even really get angry, that I've increased and improved my level of patience and self control. That I've learnt to look at things in a different way. I have a different kind of peace in my heart now that I just never had before and that is very exciting.

Now it's late and I really need to sleep but I'll be back tomorrow with more news from sthlm.

Obegripligt men ändå sant

Jag ber inte jag säger, LÄS:
Sweden, A Near Perfect Democracy: Nu håller du käften och lyssnar

Jag mår illa där jag sitter framför laptopen i mitt nymålade tonårsrum. I världens "modernaste" land och läser detta... Och tvingas inse vilken sorts värld det är vi... jag lever i.

Det framkallar även en vis mängd synkiskhet.
Snart 18 år och inte våldtagen än! Jippi! Men de är väl i och för sig mer tur än skicklighet. Sexuella trakasserier finns det väl inte en 11 åring som inte utsatts för, så de kan man ju nästan skita i att ens bli upprörd över längre.

Jag känner hur sorgen och uppgivenheten kryper över mig. Jag är besviken på världen för att de är så här! För att detta inte fixats innan de va min tur. För att jag nu tvingas ta itu med en jäkla skit situation.

Måste det vara så här? Vill någon ha det så här? Jag kan inte alt. vägrar gå med på att NÅGON innerst inne vill ha de så här! Varför är det då så här? Jag vill inte växa upp i den här jävla skitvärlden där så gått som varenda tjej jag känner haft eller har någon form av ätstörning. Där jag och mina polare blir offer för nån form av sjukt makt utnyttjande. Och där polis och rättsväsendet motarbetar varje försök som görs för att få stop på skiten!

Jag vill inte vara ett offer. Jag vill inte att det ska vara sant. Jag vill inte tänka på det.

Men nu är det ju det och jag kan inte glömma.

Och ännu mindre kan jag leva med mig själv om jag genom tystnad väljer att acceptera hur världen ser ut. För även om det är en jävla skitvärld så är det min jävla skitvärld och den ska faan inte få se ut så här!

Monday 5 February 2007

Länge sen sist!

Nu va det en månad och 2 dar sen jag skrev sist och det e ju näst in till pinsammt! Sen dess har ju som tur e en hel del hänt. Jag har bland annat varit på STUH 2007, redigerat klart förra årets årsmötes protokoll, bokat biljetter till england och varit på allhelgonna mässa!

För er icke upplysta så står STUH för STiftsUngdomsHelg. Det är ett mycket trevligt arangemangsom (om jag fattat rätt) är resultatet av ett sammarbetet mellan Graninge stiftsgård, SvenskaKyrkansUngaStockholmsStift och Stockholms Stift. STUH ordnas en gång om året, förraåret opereade jag knäet denna helg så detta va mitt första STUH! Det va väldigt roligt å jag/vi (katarina gänget) träffade en hel del super trevliga människor som vi förhoppningsvis kommerstöta på igen på olicka arangemang!

Sen så detta jädra årsmötes protokoll som jag tog på mig att redigera då de va total katastrof! Men som sagt så e de nu klart och jag fick efterlängtad cred av mina ledar polare. Så nu känns de mycket bättre å på torsda får jag de förhoppningsvis på skrivet!

Jag kan även glat meddela att jag komme vara bort i mitt älskade hemland över påsken för att hälsa på familjen men framförallt Tillan! För er som inte vet är detta min älskade klasskompis som för tillället är å pluggar ett år i Spalding, som e super liten by utan för Nottingham i norra england! De ska bli jätte kul å träffa henne, de va typ helt chockande när jag ringde henne för nån vecka sen å hörde hennes röst för första gången på 5 månader. Nån man ju pratade med varje dag innan hon åkte! De va helt sjukt vi började båda två bara skratta. Hon låter helt annorlunda men samtidigt precis som sig själv, sjukt läskigt!

Men nu måste jag sova så allhelgona mässa får ni höra om imorn!

Thursday 4 January 2007

Lists

Lists

I've always loved them. They are just great. It's probably be the control freak part of my personality that loves them the most. The clear overview. The ticking off that gives such a great felling of achievement and satisfaction. I have some pretty crap lists in my old blog so now I'm gonna start with some good, bad, weird, odd etc. ones here. I'll start with an old favorite;

10 Things I look forward to:
  • Riding horses in Mariestad this weekend (hopefully)
  • Meeting Rizzo on Sunday
  • Ice skating with the gang on Monday
  • Turning 18 in 59 days!
  • Getting my drivers licence
  • Getting texts
  • Tillan coming home from the UK
  • Going to Lithuania this summer with the girls
  • My phone account to kick-in so my texts stop costing me a fortune
  • The day my sister stops nagging me about the computer
Back soon

Holiday Spirits

Hi party people,
What better time to get back into the hang of blogging than the Xmas holidays. Its been good but a little lonely, I've missed my darling friends who have been away. On Xmas I was on Gotland with my mum and sister Emma to visit my grandparents. Then I was just home chillin' and watching SATC with my from Emma acquired cold.

New years was a weird but hilarious evening. I can tell you that the fireworks in Rissne where pretty extreme and Johns champagne cork popping was some of the best I've seen!

Now I'm messing around with the radio on my new mobile phone. A black flip Samsung not wonderful but better than my last one and it was cheep. But I should be packing 'cause we are going to Mariestad to visit my mum's boyfriends family tomorrow and she's gonna pick us up after dinner. But I hope its gonna be a fun weekend Daniels mum is really nice and hopefully we can have a go riding the horses.

Then on Sunday I'll hopefully be meeting Rizzo. I'll write more soon.